Well here we are so pretty much this school year is over for me because today was the last day of it
And i’m just really pissed angry and sad but at the same time happy
Because i wasn’t able to transfer this year i wasn’t able to relax a bit when i have about a billion thoughts of i don’t know what going through my head
I’m angry because it took the system this long to realize that there’s something wrong and how i have tried so hard not to loose it and want to just cause a giant fight
I’m then also sad because for the last 4 to now almost 5 years of my life i have been hoping to feel some sort of peace or at least feel happy without constantly feeling so empty
And ever night since i believe October 2015 when i go to bed i would just go to sleep in the dark and i would just cry my eyes out while listening to Christina perri , evanescence, Gary Barlow or even lady gaga
I only asked was to just enjoy the last few moments of being young before i enter have to work in this filthy world
But it looks like i can’t have that either All well.
I’m alright i’m just at a loss for words and thoughts but hey life goes on and maybe next year will be better even though i do have my doubts.
Recently i went to the doctor again because i was experiencing something odd in my left artery and i thought it could be something bad like a plaque build up or something like that thankfully it wasn’t the doctor told me that it’s just a lot of anxiety and that my body is fine
I have received mental health help and i’m going to soon get that again and a bit of counseling too
Take care guys. -Garden